A cancer diagnosis can feel overwhelming, stripping away a sense of control. Yet experts urge patients and caregivers to focus on what you can control. In other words, find the “CAN” in your cancer journey – the things you can do, even when many factors remain beyond your control. This article explores practical areas where you do have power: learning about your disease, setting daily goals, self-care, mindset, and support. We also share real patient insights – the voices of those who have walked this path – to inspire and guide you. By taking charge of each day in small ways, you can reclaim strength and hope in the face of cancer.
Know Your Treatment: Information Is Power
One of the first steps to regain a sense of control is education and planning. Talk with your medical team about your diagnosis, treatment options, and potential side effects. Reliable information reduces fear. Being involved in your own care – asking questions, getting second opinions, understanding test results – helps turn uncertainty into action. For example, one sarcoma patient explained how learning about clinical trials and treatment options transformed his experience: he “became more engaged in my care, asked more questions, sought second opinions,” and ultimately created a treatment plan that felt right for him. He notes that after taking this active role, “the uncertainty wasn’t gone, but it no longer controlled me”. In short, taking charge of what you know – researching reputable sources, understanding your tests, and speaking up in appointments – gives you tools to act instead of worry.
Focus on each day. Consider what you can do now. Let this be your motto: you cannot change past events or predict the future, but you can decide your next steps. Even small actions matter. For instance, preparing questions for the doctor, checking off a completed appointment, or researching one aspect of your care today are concrete things within your power. By turning vague fear into defined tasks (“what can I do now?”), you shift the balance from helplessness to control.
Daily Goals and Routine
Cancer treatment often brings many tasks and uncertainty. Creating simple daily routines and goals can restore order. Break big challenges into bite-sized steps and celebrate each accomplishment. As one breast cancer survivor, Kanesha, shared: “Working towards each next step gave me a sense of control,” when she diligently checked off items on her treatment “to-do” list. Think of yourself as the “project manager” of your care – schedule your medications, set reminders for exercise or rest, and list the day’s priorities.
- Make a to-do list. Write down any tasks you need to do that day (medical or personal). Checking items off, even simple ones, builds momentum. As Kanesha’s story shows, each checkmark fosters empowerment.
- Set short-term goals. Aim for achievable daily or weekly goals. MD Anderson recommends focusing on goals that strengthen your emotional, physical or spiritual health – like walking around the block, meditating, or calling a friend. These targets are yours to reach, and they keep you focused on the present.
- Celebrate small victories. Every achievement counts. Completing a treatment day, going out for coffee with a friend, or simply getting out of bed on a hard morning are victories. Take pride in them. As MD Anderson notes, “Be proud of your strength and courage. Acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small”. Mark these moments in a journal or share them – they remind you that you can persevere step by step.
By following a routine and setting daily goals, you impose structure on an unpredictable journey. Each task you accomplish, no matter how small, reminds you that you still have agency over your life.
Self-Care: Body and Mind
Taking care of yourself – physically and mentally – is something you can do every day. Gentle physical activity, adequate rest, and nourishing meals all build strength and resilience. Walking, stretching, or simple yoga can ease tension and improve mood. Likewise, prioritize sleep and nutrition. If you’re caring for someone else as well, it’s easy to neglect yourself – but remember, as one caregiver guide warns, “You are working hard to provide … to your loved one. Time spent recharging your mind and body will allow you to avoid burnout.” Make sure you schedule your own doctor’s checkups, get enough sleep, and eat balanced meals, because your health matters too.
- Move gently each day. Even slow walks or stretches can lift your spirits and strengthen your body. Check with your doctor, but try to stay active in ways you enjoy – gardening, dancing to music, or chair exercises.
- Rest and nutrition. Make sleep and good food a priority. It sounds basic, but adequate rest and nourishing meals fuel healing. One patient’s wife reminds us, “Just like your mother told you, make sure you’re getting enough sleep and eating well”. Small steps – a multivitamin, a walk, a glass of water – are all within your control.
- Relaxation breaks. Stress can make pain or fatigue feel worse. Take brief breaks to breathe deeply or meditate. Experts suggest even 5 minutes of seated breathing or closing your eyes can recharge you. Apps, gentle yoga, or listening to calming music are tools you can use anytime to clear your mind.
- Creative outlets. Hobbies and creative activities are powerful coping tools. Art, music, dance, writing, or crafts can focus your mind and work out emotions. These activities help you work out feelings, calm your mind, and give you something enjoyable to focus on. Even doodling or playing with a pet can brighten a rough day.
- Express your feelings. It’s okay to feel angry, sad or scared; keeping these in can harm you. Talk about your feelings with a trusted friend, family member or counselor. Write in a journal or join a support group. As MD Anderson recommends, “talk with a friend, family member, counselor or spiritual advisor. Journaling also is a helpful way of expressing thoughts and feelings”. Putting feelings into words is something you can do to help heal emotionally.
By nurturing your body and mind, you strengthen the foundations that let you act. Each healthy choice – every walk, every moment of rest or breath – is a win you can control.
Cultivating a Positive Mindset
Your attitude and mindset are powerful allies. While positivity alone can’t cure cancer, the way you approach your days does affect how you feel and act. Many survivors emphasize choosing hope over despair. Drew Bouton, who has lived 22 years with metastatic prostate cancer, learned early on from his doctor that “attitude has a lot to do with it”. He decided from the start to stay optimistic: “From the very first day, I thought, maybe it will be different for me”.
Putting that into practice isn’t always easy, but it helps to consciously steer your thoughts. Drew recalls how he struggled with fear until his psychologist pointed out that nothing said he was about to die. He then realized “I don’t need to keep thinking that way. I could actively continue pursuing my life.”. In other words, he chose not to fixate on worst-case scenarios, and instead focused on living.
“I tried hard not to go down the ‘why me’ or self-pity path,” says Bouton. “It’s one thing to hear that, but another to put into practice.”.
This mindset – acknowledging reality but refusing to give in to despair – is something you can work on every day. When negative thoughts intrude (“Why me?”, “I can’t do this”), gently counter them with something constructive: remind yourself of today’s small goal, or simply that you are not alone. Also try to find moments of humor or gratitude. MD Anderson even advises to seek out what makes you happy – a funny video, a walk in nature, a chat with a pet – because “seeking happiness and enjoyment” is good self-care. Focusing on positive moments, no matter how fleeting, is within your power and can lighten the emotional load.
Above all, accept your feelings without judgment. If anger or sadness well up, you can express them safely (tears, shouting into a pillow, speaking to someone). Recognize them and then shift your focus back to what you can do. As one survivor put it, “I quickly realized that while I couldn’t control everything, I could focus on what I could control.”. Remember: you can decide how to respond to each situation.
Lean on Your Community
Cancer is challenging to face alone. Fortunately, support – from family, friends, fellow patients, and professionals – is something you can reach out for every day. Sharing your journey not only helps you, it can strengthen others too. Kanesha, for example, found purpose in encouraging those around her. She says she tells fellow patients about her experience “to show them that they have the strength to do this…because I did, and I am here on the other side.”. Her words remind us that telling your story (even just to one other person) can multiply strength.
- Join a support group or community. Whether online or in person, talking with people who are going through cancer can be immensely comforting. Support groups are a great way to meet with other people who have or had cancer to share feelings, concerns, and journeys to a ‘new normal. Listening and sharing in these groups help you feel less alone and may spark practical ideas. Many hospitals and cancer centers also offer free support programs.
- Keep loved ones in the loop. Close friends and family often want to help but may not know how. Tell them specifically how they can support you – a ride to the clinic, a home-cooked meal, or simply company for a quiet evening. Being open about your needs is something you can do; it empowers others to assist and strengthens your circle. One practical tip caregivers often use is to maintain a list of tasks so helpers know exactly how to pitch in.
- Ask for professional help. You can enlist experts. Social workers, counselors, chaplains, and patient navigators are trained to help cancer patients cope. If you’re struggling emotionally or practically, reach out. Many organizations offer hotlines (for example, Cancer Support Community’s helpline at 888-793-9355) or mentorship programs. Cancer Hope Network, for instance, matches patients with trained survivors; the mentor in the story above emphasizes that “having someone who had been through it before… helped me feel less alone.” This kind of guidance is accessible to you, so use it.
For caregivers, similar principles apply. Cancer Support Community advises caregivers to identify the parts of life they can control – like their own sleep, health, and daily routines – and to accept that they cannot do everything. In practice, this means scheduling time for their own well-being, saying “yes” when help is offered, and knowing it’s okay to say “no” when a request exceeds their limits. “No one can do everything… Do what you can, and admit what you can’t,” they advise. Both patients and caregivers benefit from this balance of effort and self-kindness.
Surrounding yourself with care reminds you that you are not alone. Keep building that support web in whatever ways you can – one phone call, hug, or kind message at a time.
Growth, Purpose, and Moving Forward
Over time, many patients discover that cancer can also become a source of personal growth. It’s not about downplaying the hardship, but about noticing how you can change in the process. MD Anderson points out that these experiences “build wisdom, emotional strength and knowledge.”. Some people find renewed priorities, closer relationships, or a desire to give back.
Consider how your journey might lead to new purpose. For example, after treatment one patient started volunteering as a mentor; he says that “by informing myself, sharing openly, and supporting others, I found strength and purpose.”. Helping others or advocating for cancer awareness are actions within your power that can bring meaning. Even something as simple as completing your family’s paperwork (wills, advance directives) or planning a post-treatment trip can instill hope. As Drew Bouton learned, make plans for the future. He notes, “Over time… I started making plans for the future, tapping into gratitude for time I didn’t expect to have.”. Such planning – however modest – is something you can do, and it keeps your focus on life beyond illness.
Above all, remember that each day you can carry forward life’s moments. Drews’ story shows that people with advanced cancer can still live fully: “Here I am,” he says, “still kicking around.”. These are not platitudes but reminders from those who know the journey. By concentrating on the CAN – the controllable steps and actions you take each day – you build momentum toward your own “other side” of cancer.
Staying Inspired and Informed
- 📚 Educate yourself. Reputable cancer organizations (like the National Cancer Institute, American Cancer Society, or MD Anderson) offer clear information on treatments and self-care. Being informed helps you feel prepared and involved.
- 🏃 Keep moving. If possible, maintain an appropriate exercise routine. It boosts mood and can reduce side effects like fatigue. Even chair exercises or physical therapy in the clinic count.
- 📝 Journal or blog. Writing your thoughts can help you process them. It also lets you look back on your journey and see progress. Some patients find blogging helps raise awareness and provides community support.
- 🎯 Remember your victories. At the end of each week, list five things that went well (no matter how small). Over time, you’ll see how much can happen.
- 🤝 Be an advocate. If you feel up to it, volunteering or joining cancer awareness events can turn your struggle into collective strength. This kind of action is empowering and might help others feel “I can do this too.”
This list isn’t exhaustive; tailor it to your life. The key is to take some positive action on a regular basis.
Cancer is a journey filled with unknowns, but the power to choose, to act, and to care remains in your hands. Focus on the aspects of each day that you can shape: your knowledge, your attitude, your body’s needs, and the love you give and receive. Each controlled step is a victory over chaos. As one survivor reminds us through her own example, the other side of cancer is reachable. “I tell them about my own experience,” she says, “to show them that they have the strength to do this… because I did, and I am here on the other side.”
You are not defined by cancer; you are defined by how you respond to it. Keep going, one CAN at a time.
Sources: Trusted cancer centers and organizations offer these insights and tips for coping and thriving during cancer mdanderson.org. Patient testimonials and expert articles provide real-world examples of how focusing on the controllable can make a difference thisislivingwithcancer.com cancerhopenetwork.org fredhutch.org.
